Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts

Transcript

"I prayed and prudence was given me. I pleaded and the spirit of wisdom came to me." Welcome back to Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts. It's January 28th, 2026, the Memorial of Saint Thomas Aquinas. I'll be providing the reflection for today's episode. My name is Elizabeth and I'm the producer and host of Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts. Today is the feast of Saint Thomas Aquinas, and in honor of him, I'd like to share a personal anecdote about one of my inner outcasts or exiled parts who is protected by a manager part that really likes Thomas Aquinas. This reflection is inspired by the optional Mass for Saint Thomas Aquinas today, in which the first reading comes from the Book of Wisdom, chapter seven. In verse seven it says, "I prayed and prudence was given me. I pleaded and the spirit of wisdom came to me." So my exiled part I'd like to speak about today is actually a part I don't know too much about. All that I know about her is from my knowledge of her protector parts, or the manager and firefighter parts in my system who keep her exiled and protect her from what they deem to be harmful. But from what I know of these protector parts, I can surmise what this exiled part of mine might be feeling. So in my internal family system, my inner critic is one of my strongest manager parts. And it sounds different at different times and in different situations.

And sometimes, and especially before I began my work with IFS, this inner critic can worship Saint Thomas Aquinas and look up to him in a disordered way. I would notice that this inner critic manager would say things to me like, well, you'll never be as smart as Aquinas, so why even bother learning things? Or oppositely, you need to learn more theology and philosophy so that you can be as smart as Aquinas. Or sometimes, if only you actually were disciplined and paid attention to things, then you could also write a Summa Theologiae. Now, even as I'm saying these things out loud right now, I notice a slightly more integrated but still critical part of me saying those expectations are totally unrealistic. And that's true. They are. But what I've learned through entering into relationship with this Aquinas-centric version of my inner critic is three things. One, this manager part of me believes that intellectual knowledge is the highest achievable good. Two, it sees Saint Thomas Aquinas as an ideal in this regard, but it also believes he is an unfeeling intellectual automaton. And three, this part views God and all the saints with a statue God image. Now this podcast is a show for the inner outcasts or the exiled parts out there.

So I shared what I just did about my inner critic manager part, because getting to know this part has been crucial for me to learn about the exile it is protecting. I know from relationship with this inner critic that there is an exile in my system that carries the burden of believing that emotions are bad, and that all must be logical and precise in order to be good. This exile feels that she herself is bad, and everything that she feels emotionally is also bad. And so if this sweet little exile part in me heard the verse from today's first reading, Wisdom, chapter seven verse seven, "I prayed and prudence was given me. I pleaded in the spirit of wisdom came to me," she would understand that wisdom and prudence come from God, not from our own efforts. And furthermore, that they come from inherently emotional and relational experiences, namely prayer and pleading. But with that being said, at this time, my own internal family system is not yet a place for my exiled part to hear that directly. My inner critic still exists strongly in my system. But someday, through continued knowledge of and relationship with all my parts, I hope to be able to reach this little exile of mine and allow her to feel what is true.

This podcast is all about reaching out to your exiled parts, your inner outcasts. But you might be wondering what are parts in the first place. So to learn more about what we mean by parts, I'd recommend you check out the Being Human podcast episode 35, which is linked in the description below. Thanks for joining us and we hope to see you again tomorrow. With that, we'll end with our invocations. Our Lady, our Mother, Untier of Knots, pray for us. Saint Joseph, pray for us. Saint John the Baptist, pray for us.