Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts

Transcript

"When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be well?' The sick man answered him, 'Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me.' Jesus said to him, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk.' Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked."

Welcome back to Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts and Happy Saint Patrick's Day. Today we are joined by Justin Brown. Justin is a Catholic therapist licensed in Illinois and Texas.

Today's Scripture comes from the Gospel of John, chapter five, verses six through nine. "When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be well?' The sick man answered him, 'Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me.' Jesus said to him, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk.' Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked." If it feels safe to your managers, I'd like to speak directly to you now, to you exiled parts. And I want you to know that you are in charge of the pace. You, inner exile, have been lying still for a very long time, feeling forgotten and overlooked. You learned early not to hope because it deepened the pain. Perhaps you are weary of waiting, worried your turn won't come, weary of watching others receive care, healing or attention while you remain unseen. You might recognize yourself as an inner lost sheep who wandered off and was never searched for, or an interloper who learned to keep distance because closeness felt unsafe, or an inner invalid who stopped trying because effort never seemed to change the outcome, or perhaps an inner child who learned ways to survive.

Don't ask, don't need, and especially don't trust. And yet today Jesus sees you as you are. He sees you lying there. He knows how long you've been this way. He knows how many years you have waited by the pool. And he understands how fear taught you to expect disappointment rather than help. When Jesus asks, do you want to be well? You might feel a little unsettled by the question not because you don't desire healing, but because being well requires trust. And trust feels dangerous when you have been left alone or passed over before. You, inner exile, may feel the tension of wanting healing while also fearing what it might cost. You might feel words rising up like, I want to be well, but I'm afraid. Or, I want to be well, but I don't trust that it will last. Or even, staying sick at least feels familiar. And none of these responses are wrong or shameful, just simply a narrative that you learned to survive by staying guarded. The man by the pool answers Jesus from the same place, explaining the reasons, the barriers, the realities shaped by years of disappointment that no one helps him. That others always get there first, that his chance never seems to come and Jesus doesn't argue with him or dismiss his fear or demand that he feel differently before being healed.

Instead, Jesus invites him into trust through relationship. Speaking with quiet authority and deep compassion. Rise, take up your mat, and walk. Asking him not to erase his story but to carry it differently. No longer letting the place of waiting define who he is. That mat, the place where you have been lying, the identity shaped by fear and unmet longing, is not taken away before you move. Rather, Jesus asks you to trust him enough to stand while still holding it. To step forward, not because fear has disappeared, but because love is present. Scripture tells us that immediately the man became well, not because he suddenly felt brave or certain, but because healing flowed from being seen, chosen and addressed directly by Jesus, whose presence was stronger than fear, and whose word carried life. So if you exiled part learned that fear was necessary to survive, Jesus gently and confidently presents something new to you now. You do not have to lead with fear anymore. You do not have to carry this alone, and you aren't being asked to trust yourself or the system, but to trust the one who is standing in front of you and will not abandon you. You aren't forgotten. You're not too late because Jesus is here inviting you to take the step with him once again.

That was Justin Brown. Listeners are invited to contact him through his page at catholictherapist.com, which is linked in the description of this episode.

Let's end with our invocations. Our Lady, our Mother, Untier of Knots, pray for us. Saint Joseph, pray for us. Saint John the Baptist, pray for us.